A Homecoming Surprise
by theybecameanimagi
Summary: As good news as Leliana being made Divine Victoria is to the world, for Solana Amell, all she can see is a ten year relationship of mutual love and happiness coming to an end. But little does Solana realize Leliana has a surprise. Leliana/Warden. Crossposted to AO3 under the penname 'safeandsolid.'


The Grand Cathedral was still filled-even years later after visiting Justinia with Leliana-with stain-glass windows, statues of Andraste, even pews that smelled as though they'd been made from a freshly cut down tree. Although, being from the Circle, Solana couldn't identify the tree from which the dark-stained wood had came. The place was quiet, the only sounds were her footsteps and the prayers of churchgoers nearby. Flickering candles _almost_ relaxed her tense shoulders. _However_...

She had heard the news. The Inquisition's spymaster had been made Divine. _Her_ Leliana. Her love who had helped her fight the Blight. Who had came to her because of a vision, because it was right. And _now_ …

On a political level, Solana had to smile. With Leliana's reforms mages would be free. Including her, being free of the Taint and all. Other races could even join the Chantry!

But on a personal level… This felt like a mockery, watching Leliana walk among a crowd of people at the front of the sanctuary. Leliana hugged an elderly mage, and then a small elven child. Solana's vision blurred. That was the woman who had encouraged her to forgive Jowan. Even when Solana had wanted to leave him to die! True, at the time she had not listened, but Leliana's words had sunken in with time–that perhaps Jowan really had been repentant. Solana had learned being kind to people who did not deserve it was never a waste of energy.

Although Leliana was her friend, who had changed her life with kindness and words of wisdom-she was her lover, too.

Solana turned away from the sight around her, she couldn't bear it.

She would have to break up with Leliana, so Leliana would not lose her position as Divine, because of the chastity rules. Besides, she would not distract Leliana from being the best Divine she could be. She didn't want to get in her way.

No more late night stories. No more shoe shopping. No more snuggling together with the nugs when they were sad. No more kisses in a sunlit street in Val Royeaux. No more _Leliana_.

Solana sat down in a pew in the back, taking deep breaths. The seat creaked under her weight. Her muscles finally loosened a little at the sound of Sisters saying the Chant. "For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water…"

Being Andrastian was new to Solana. Back in the Circle, it had been hard to trust in a religion that had insisted she be locked up. However, over time as she gotten close to Leliana, she had found the idea of how Leliana saw the Maker to be appealing-a higher power who had not left them and loved everyone. She bowed her head and closed her eyes. Maybe praying would calm her down.

 _Maker, I believe that she's doing your work. I don't want to put her career in danger, or distract her. I know this is right, but why is it so hard? Give me strength._ She wiped her eyes.

She felt at peace as she opened her eyes and looked back up at the world. She needed to get this over with quickly. Although she had lost weight on her quest to cure the Taint, and had cut her hair for convenience, she couldn't shake the fear that someone would recognize her and she would get Leliana into trouble. It wasn't like she had came in full Warden uniform, but Solana still felt as though she might lose her lunch.

But if only she could just sit here and avoid her fate, avoid her duty.

 _But_ she couldn't keep being a coward or procrastinate because she didn't want to get to the outcome. Being _alone_. She stood up, trying to take comfort in the sense of peace she had found in prayer. She could do this. It was for the greater good. It _was_.

She left the pew where she had prayed, and made her way to the group Leliana was comforting. It seemed to take an eternity.

She saw Leliana lift her head. She met Solana's eyes, mouth open in disbelief, and yet her eyes were sparkling. Leave it to the spy to see through the changes to her appearance. Solana held her eyes wide open, determined not to cry again. She had pictured this reunion often in her darkest hours of need on her journey, and it did not involve her crying multiple times.

"That's enough for today," Leliana said. The gleam left her eyes she she turned to the Chantry's visitors. She was calm and composed, returning to the role those people needed to see-a peaceful and serene Divine. "If you meet with my secretary, we can rearrange this meeting."

The crowds left, grumbling disappointedly. Solana fingered her braid, and stared at the ground. Those people had needed their leader, and she had interrupted because of her own problems. That would have to stop. _Now_.

It would break her heart.

She could feel Leliana's hands on her shoulders, and her warm lips pressing against her cheek. It didn't surprise Solana–Leliana had never much been one for following rules. She followed her heart instead. It was another lesson Leliana had taught her.

She swallowed the knot in her throat several times before she was finally able to speak. "Don't do that!" Solana said, trying to wiggle out of Leliana's grasp. "If the wrong Cleric would see, you wouldn't be Divine anymore." Solana was glad she was no longer crying, at least. She had to stay strong for her girlfriend. "And you can't lose the Sunburst Throne, you _can't_. and… You've clearly moved on to bigger things, now. You don't _need_ me anymore." That last part was a lie. She knew Leliana had needed her after Justinia had died, and it had killed her not to be there. Only her motivation to find a cure for the Calling had kept her away, so they could always be together. Solana shuddered. That had turned out well. Now all her journeying wouldn't matter because she would lose Leliana. At any rate, this was what Leliana needed to hear. That the only way she could do good works was without her.

Leliana's eyes widened. Solana could not think of the last time she had seen the skymaster so shocked. "Solana, what is this?" She placed a hand on her cheek, and Solana stopped struggling. "How can you think I don't need you just because I became the Divine? Love doesn't stop because I got a promotion, nor did I cease to be a human in need of kindness and devotion. The world thinks that Divine should be above friendship and love, but that's _not_ true, Solana. And I knew you already know that. Now, what's really wrong, dearest?"

She felt Leliana's familiar, dainty arms wrapping her in for a hug, and Solana did not bother to censor her tears. She was glad that Leliana knew her well enough to realize that there must be more to the story than her thinking the Divine didn't deserve love. She cried and cried until all she could make were tiny choking noises. Leliana stroked her hair and mumbled nonsense in a soothing voice. Solana was sure Leliana's Divine gown would need replacing. She could definitely sleep until the end of the Dragon Age, and now that she was done crying she could easily curl up in a nice, soft bed and sleep off the exhaustion like a dragon in hibernation.

Solana pulled away from Leliana and Leliana handed her a handkerchief to dry her eyes which she used.

"Thank you," Solana said, stuffing the handkerchief into her pocket. She doubted her girlfriend would want it back now. "I just… I just don't want to be the reason you lose everything. You've always talked about how so many in the Chantry cared for looking pious and acting like they were doing good, but no one _wanted_ to actually help, to share the Maker's love. You can do that. I heard when I reentered Orlais that you had freed that mages and that the first elven Sister is going to take her vows next month. Maybe I would have known the peace of the Maker much sooner in my life if I'd…" For a second she was so overwhelmed, it was hard to speak. She took a deep breath, allowed the old musty air to fill her. "If I'd known your version of the Chantry as a child instead of the Circle." The last bit of what Leliana had said, about people not seeing the Divine as a human stung. "I… I lied. I didn't mean that you didn't deserve love because you became Divine I was just... I thought that if I made it sound like you didn't need me… Maybe you'd believe it and it'd be easier for you to do your duty and forget about me."

Leliana actually _giggled_. "Do you think so little of yourself that you think I would move on from you so easily? That I would say 'Oh, silly me, Solana thinks I don't need her anymore, it must be so!'" Solana's love put a hand on her shoulder. "Besides, what kind of an argument is it that I don't need you, or that you would hinder me? You have always been a good listener, and I've always felt free to speak my mind around you-"

"You speak your mind around everyone if they want to hear it or not-" Solana smirked.

Her girlfriend smiled. "But at least with you I don't have to worry about being judged or being told that I am too idealistic."

Solana raised her eyebrows. "Do the Grand Clerics tell you that?"

"Some of them do," Leliana said with a laugh, though Solana noticed Leliana's eyes were hollow. It made her heart ache. Leliana rubbed Solana's arm. "But you look tired, dearest, would you prefer to sit down and talk? We could go to my office." She glanced around the room and Solana guessed that Leliana did not want the rest of the room to hear their conversation-there were already a few Mothers staring at them as though they were on display. Solana felt her hair standing on end, and she could she goosebumps on her arm. She prayed that woman had not heard too much.

They left the sanctuary and entered a dim hallway lit with small white candles that smelled sweetly of vanilla. With the light of the candles flickering through the hall, it was easy to feel at peace here. Occasionally lower-level initiates passed with paperwork, but other than that, they were alone.

"Do you like living here, as Divine?" Solana asked. Maker, it had been hard to be gone so long. She had missed so much. Somehow, when she had left, part of her had thought it would be like the Circle-that she would come back and things would stay the same, except maybe for the mages and Templars figuring out a solution other than warfare. Of course, now that her thoughts drifted back to her return to Kinloch Hold, why had she thought that things would be mostly be the same when she got back? Of course things would change.

Of course, no one had expected the Conclave to blow up and for a magister-darkspawn to rip a hole in the sky.

Leliana's eyes sparkled as they drifted over to Solana. "It has it's ups and downs. Sadly, I cannot pass out baby nugs to the children," Solana giggled, "on a more serious note, not everyone is fond of my reforms but-" she gave Solana a strained smile-"I have faith that in time, the message that love and compassion are stronger than anything else will sink in."

Solana gently took her hand. "I know you can do it." That was why she was here, after all.

Leliana stopped in front of a simple wooden door and held it open for Solana. "And this is why I've missed you so much. I think the Frostbacks were partly so cold because you weren't there to keep me company with your supportive words and gentle touch."

The former Warden blushed, and stepped inside the room as quickly as possible. The problem with having a spy for a girlfriend was that you couldn't get away with blushing like a teenager. Fortunately, Leliana always had the tact to pretend she didn't notice her awkwardness.

Leliana's office both fit her personality and was professional. The armchairs were velvet, and the curtains were pink. Solana even spotted the small glass statues of Andraste she had given Leliana to start a collection one Wintersend on a shelf in the back of the room, along with several others she had gotten since of various value and material. On the fireplace behind the armchairs was a small painting of Leliana's mother. However, for the personal touches, her desk was well-organized and decently stocked. As was fitting for a Divine, none of the furniture looked like it had been bought from an upper-class merchant. In fact, the room had a warmness that made Solana feel like she was in the home of a family member-everything looked like it was used frequently, and yet all of the objects looked like they were treated with love. Of course, maybe it wasn't quite right for Solana to say the room looked like the cozy home of a relative-being from the Circle, she had been taken from her family as a small child. What did she know of family?

Leliana sat at one of the armchairs instead of at her desk. She motioned to the twin of the chair she was currently sitting in. "Please, sit down!"

Solana walked over, and sat down.

"You must have had a long journey. Do you need a change of clothes? Tea?" She motioned to the fireplace behind her chair. "If it's cold in here, I could lit a fire-"

The room was chilly. Solana waved an arm at the fireplace and flames crackled merrily, warming the room. "Did you forget I was a mage?" Solana grinned.

"Of course not, I was simply…" Her voice trailed off.

"No, it's sweet that you want to take care of me," Solana said. Being taken care of like that wasn't really something Solana was used to. Templars had hardly offered her cookies and a good place in front the fire at the Circle. Ten years later and she still showed surprise over little gestures.

"I'm always happy to take care of you, as you have with me," Leliana said, waving a hand to show it was nothing.. She cleared her throat and gave her love a warm stare. "Dearest, please listen to me," Leliana said. Given the expression on her face, Solana doubted her girlfriend was breaking up with her, and the thought filled her with both hope and shame. Hope that her quest to find a cure to the Taint had not been in vain, and shame that she would be the reason Leliana would put her career on the line. Although Leliana was not one to care about rules, even the Divine had expectations she would not be expected to go against. "One of the reforms I submitted last month to the Grand Clerics changed the rules about Chantry officials needing to remain chaste. Anyone serving with the Chantry, from initiate to Divine, may take a romantic partner now and feel no guilt."

How could she _do_ that? Would others in the Chantry simply let her change the rules? How could she change tradition and _get away with it_?

But more importantly, _how_ had she underestimated her girlfriend? It was hardly like Leliana to break up with her to please others or to want to hide Solana away like she was a dirty secret. Why hadn't she trusted Leliana? Had she been away so long that she had simply expected Leliana to be okay with leaving her for the good of the masses? Had she really been disconnected from the world for that long?

The thought bothered Solana more than she cared to admit, even in the privacy of her own head. Her journey had lasted a year, and had taken her to lands far away from Thedas. Occasionally, she had counted weeks going by in her journal without seeing a soul. Sometimes she would come by a small farm town and trading post to get supplies and send Leliana word of her safety, but overall, human interaction had been slim.

Solana hung her head, too ashamed to look at Leliana. "I… You did that for me? I mean, for us? And I was willing to throw everything away from the greater good!" She sunk back into the velvet chair. If only she could bury herself in it's depths!

"Giving up love for the greater good is a romantic notion, but overall, that expectation simply sets people up to fail because they don't want to be apart from their love, and makes them feel ashamed when they can't live up to the standard." She sighed. "That's no way for anyone to live, dearest one. You went through great risk to find a way for us to be together, did you really think I would not do my part when the time came?" Leliana sounded disappointed, and Solana felt heated with guilt, and she doubted she was buried far enough back in pillows for Leliana not to notice.

"I… I thought you would try, but…. There are ages of tradition, spelling out who a Divine should be!" It felt awful to admit out loud that she had doubted that Leliana could do it. "I wondered if maybe you would want to keep us secret, but there was always the chance we would be caught, and if we were… I didn't want you to throw away everything you've began to built because of me. I couldn't risk it."

"While your concern for my career is touching, please, Solana, _never_ think that I would chose a job over you. I would never do that," Leliana said. Solana sneaked a peek over at Leliana and saw that her lover had a tear in her eye.

She couldn't stand for _that_.

"I'm sorry," Solana felt as though she couldn't say it enough. "I'm so, so _sorry_ for doubting you. Maybe I was simply away from the world too long, out there in far flung places on my own." Still, she didn't deserve to be let off the hook. "Not that that excuses me."

Leliana walked over to her desk and pulled a tin with a griffon on it out of a drawer. Solana recognized that tin, she'd gotten it for Leliana a few years ago for her birthday after Leliana had said during an outing that she liked the griffon pattern. Leliana removed the lid and Solana saw the tin was full of chocolate chip cookies. Her stomach rumbled loudly. Solana blushed. You _knew_ you had been away from civilization for too long when you couldn't remember when you'd last had chocolate. She took one and smiled faintly. "Thanks."

"It's nothing." Whatever disappointment had been on Leliana's face was gone now, instead her eyes glowed with love. "You're forgiven, love. It is far too easy to lose touch with who you are as a person when you're alone for too long." Solana nibbled on her cookie while Leliana talked. "I still think you should have taken Zevran or one of your mabaris with you for company. It's a pity Wynne died. I know you and her always got along well."

Solana's voice got so thick it took a moment for her to swallow her bit of cookie. "I miss her." She _should_ have been there when Wynne had died. But Wynne had died on her own terms, and that was what mattered. Overcoming after a few moments her sudden emotion about Wynne, and having finished her cookie-chocolate really did wonders when you were feeling sad-Solana up and gently placed the cookies on Leliana's desk before wrapping her love in a hug. If only she could stay forever. It seemed like a dream to finally be back in her arms, after so many nights alone with nobody to talk to and cuddle with before falling asleep. Finally she forced herself to let go of Leliana. "Thank you. I don't deserve your forgiveness so easily."

Leliana laughed softly. "What kind of a Divine would I be didn't practice what I preached to others? Besides," she looked at the floor instead of at Solana, "it is all too easy to lose one's path if you do not have the proper support. Sometime all you need is the right person to remind you of what matters, what you stand for."

Solana sensed there was probably a story there, but she didn't press for details. She knew her girlfriend had been hit hard by the previous Divine's death. Perhaps it was a story Leliana would tell her when she felt ready. Regardless of when, finally, the ex-Warden was _home_. Solana wasn't used to having a purpose for that word, growing up in the Circle and spending most of her adult life constantly on the move with business for the Wardens. But somehow, she had found one, here with Leliana.

Permanently.


End file.
